I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
