a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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