i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
