Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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