it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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