That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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