He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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