i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
