She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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