I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize