smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
