I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
