Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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