Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
His hands were made for my vagina.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
