Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
