We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
