i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
