I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
