Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
