She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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