I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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