He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
