I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
