I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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