its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
