I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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