ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
