at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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