pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
