don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
