with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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