I didn't shave. On purpose
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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