Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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