Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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