**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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