sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
