You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
