I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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