Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
