I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
