i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
