I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize