after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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