Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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