I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They took my balls.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
