Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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