toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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