Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
