you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
