Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
