Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize