my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
