Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
