I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i may or may not be watching the land before time
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize