Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I believe in your delicious
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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