You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
