perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
