do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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