Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
