what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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