Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
