Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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