CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
