can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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